eulogeo

C'mon - let's go!

2009-09-09T23:15:00.015-05:00

Here are the lyrics to a song by Mr. Children (translated from Japanese), written by Kazutoshi Sakurai. I had a chance to hear them sing it live while I was living in Japan ... and then later performed it with some of the students at the school I taught at -we were in a Human Rights Club together - one of the best
experiences and privileges of my life.
I can still hear them singing...

The song is about choosing love, for love's sake - despite hardship - and because that is all part of the journey. Love is always the right choice. Together, we can overcome our fears, our differences, our self-centredness & pride, our politics, conflicts, problems, ideals, and yes, even our "religion".

I'd like to listen in on the conversation between
Sakurai kun and Jesus....

***************************

I can fly ~ you can, too Just spread your wings, let's go together! Go on and get your things together... C'mon, hurry up now. Do you think you can follow me without falling behind? In your case meekness, in mine kindness We both put on a show and it tires us out but still it means something... What do you think? Do you still want me? I wonder - can you say with certainty that we didn't meet just to hurt one another? The only answer I understand now, the one and only answer is I love you And I love you And I love you Even as I stumble - Unsure whether to believe or doubt A tomorrow with no guarantee, an immature passion I keep running the race, today Will you make it through yesterday with me? I can't fly by myself anymore Because you take some weight off of me Now, surely I can sing without being embarrased I can sing, I can sing I love you And I love you And I love you There are times when I suddenly feel the need to be alone I gaze at the moon from the roof I realize that the stronger my thoughts of you are, The more of a coward I become I can't be honest with myself and admit it But I felt the day coming When you'd stop lying to me And the future took a step, and another, closer to us I love you And I love you And I love you

Romance

2009-08-21T22:11:00.015-05:00

The sacred romance of Christ
is the passion of my life...

He was my first...

... and will be my last

True Love!

Everything
and
everyone
in
between
the
beginning
and
ending
is a
gift that
I
offer
back
to him
in
praise and
thanksgiving.

Sanctity

2009-08-13T23:29:00.007-05:00

"...promise me, oh women of Jerusalem, by the swift gazelles and the deer of the wild, not to awaken love until the time is right..."

~ Song of Songs 2:7 ~

改善　(kaizen)

2009-05-11T22:41:00.005-05:00

改善　(kaizen) is a Japanese philosophy that focuses on continuous improvement throughout all aspects of life.　The two original Chinese characters that make up this word are: 改 (change) and 善 (good)... quite literally, "change is good". Well - that's a no-brainer! Or is it...?

I'm becoming acutely aware of how easy it can be to become too content, too comfortable, with the status quo. The way things generally 'are' or have 'always been' is not always the best, most life-giving, secure way. At some point, if I am sincerely interested in improving the quality and effectiveness of my work, my relationships and my commitment to God's higher purpose for my life, I need to consider the value of change and the notion of continuous improvement.

And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished. (Philippians 1:6)

With Christ's help, there is no end to the maturing process. (Philippians 4:13)

...The good soil represents those who hear and accept God's message and produce a huge harvest... (Mark 4: 1-20)

Change can be messy, for sure. It's frequently difficult, requiring effort and adaptation, even compromise, on my part - and it's often inconvenient. There are things in my life, my work, my character --that I would like to change or that I know need to change -- and yet, it rarely happens as soon as I'd like. It's easy to become discouraged, impatient and jaded when I don't see the desired results I'd like to see.... and things can often appear to get worse before they get better...

A different perspective, an improved attitude, a renewed commitment, a change of heart, a change of address... or simply a change of scene... can really do some good.

Time

2009-03-20T11:13:00.011-05:00

Photo courtesy of Tara Craigon

It's been a time when, outwardly, not a lot really appears to be
going on.

Yet, on the inside, entire new universes are being

created, discovered, explored.

Deep healing has taken place;

Christ has turned some of my mourning to dancing,

some of my tears to Joy,

given me promises to count on.

We have been graced with the peace that
"surpasses all understanding" - a gift more precious than any
jewel or fortune.

I am walking alongside my sister as she journeys with breast cancer.

Answers to questions do not come easy.

I wonder...

Will answers come in time?

Would answers bring peace if we were given them?

Do the questions we ask and the responses we give
determine our destinies?

There is a man I love dearly.

If you asked me what it is that makes me love him,
I'd have to say

that it's nothing in particular and everything at once.

Simple & True.

I am learning.

I am reaching.

I am growing.

I am singing

myself

a love song

about

time

No Doubt

2009-01-15T11:04:00.001-05:00

Whatever doubts I may have harboured in regards to God's existence, protection and complete sovereignty - - they exist no more.

Selah!

For God has said, " I will never fail you. I will never forsake you."
(Hebrews 13:5)

Reflection

2009-01-03T00:33:00.000-05:00

It's taken me nearly two and a half years to really start sifting and sorting through the photos, journals and assorted memorabilia from Japan that I have had tucked away, in their proper place, until now. I say "until now" because it is only now that I have become removed enough from those memories to be in the frame of mind to organize and categorize and begin to make sense of what those three years meant to me.

I believe now that my decision to go to Japan, although I wasn't aware of it at the time, was a sort of self-imposed exile - a step away from the familiar and predicatable - that needed to be taken. The third year I spent there was beyond that - and not self-imposed - bordering on cruel yet necessary in a way I'm only beginning to understand. This seems to happen in cycles as a process of healing on the path to wholeness.

I've come to realize now that Christ was with me all along, through every trial and triumph and circumstance. I think of the cross on the hill in Murou ~ the one that no one said anything much about when I pointed it out. I would look at that figure every morning on my way to the school and during those lonely hours between classes or from the hospital bed in my school when I was literally falling apart. I don't think it is by accident that it was there - and I don't quite know why it was - and I may never know - but it was - - and it was not an accident nor an illusion.

I know there must be people who had similar experiences to mine.

I know of people who endured far worse - and those whose experience was without incident or concern. I wonder if it is because I am a Christian that my experiences unfolded as they did... I recently was told that many Christians were martyred, not so long ago, in a town near to where I lived. Why the fear? Why would the God that so few in Japan believe in pose such a threat to the point of mass murdering Christ followers?

I am not ashamed to say that the more I stood up in my faith, the more oppression I experienced - and the final months leading up to my departure from Japan - despite the kind words people would say and my obvious desire to stay - the one thing I sensed most clearly was "leave here!"

I can't explain it and don't feel I have to justify or defend myself to anyone.

That is how it was and it broke my heart because I gave of myself - and of Christ's love- purely and deeply to the people I met in Japan. And there are those who truly loved me while I was there - for me, those ones are obvious now and I hope they know who they are.

I wonder if that is exactly why I felt such opposition and resistance at times...

we humans often do not know what to do in the face of Christ, in the face of truth, unconditional love and mercy. I imagine it's fear that gets in the way of receiving it.

I imagine it's pride and ignorance that prevents the reciprocation of it.

How I wish to rise above all that and just simply love & be loved - here, now, forevermore.

As I enter into this new year, I count my blessings, I look ahead - leaving in God's capable and willing hands the hurts, successes and failures of this past year. Anticipation suspends me momentarily as I sense this is a time of waiting, acceptance, renewal and preparation for good things to come.

TATOO

2008-12-24T01:37:00.004-05:00

I tried to fit you into all the broken places
And all the empty spaces
That I couldn't fill alone

What you must be thinking
Every time you see me sinking
With the weight of the conviction that my will be done

Come and tatoo a place
In my heart with your Grace
I'm still blind, I can't see
All you hope for me to be

Come and meet me face to face
Take this undeserving case
Once again, LORD, make me new
Let me find myself in you

God, you made the heavens, the mountains and the oceans
All things are set to motion
At your sovereign command

How could I doubt your awesome power
When I know that every hour
You give me breath and strength so I can stand

Again and again
You are saving my soul
Every break, every bend
LORD, I give you control

It's between you and I
But I want them to know
It's your precious design
That's making me whole.

TLC 2008

The Point of Marriage

2008-12-20T01:19:00.008-05:00

The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show eachother the greatest possible trust.

A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people, infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing eachother as a whole and before an immense sky.

~Rainer Maria Rilke (Letters to a Young Poet)

Hope

2008-12-13T17:29:00.017-05:00

"...There's the root of our ancestor Jesse, breaking through the earth and growing tree tall, tall enough for everyone everywhere to see and take hope! Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope...!"

Romans 15:13

(The Message)

****************

The times that have formed my faith are the times when I have discovered that the only hope I have is to hold on to the truth of God's word. I was not always convinced that His words were true - and yet - they were - and still are - the truest thing I have found.

So often, it is desperate times - pain, loss, suffering, sorrow, disillusionment - that have brought me to my knees long enough to catch a glimpse of or hear my Saviour. The busi-ness of life and all that happens within me and around me while I'm "doing" ... somehow gets lost in the shuffle unless I intentionally invite Jesus into the center of my life.

A course that I am taking right now is teaching me what it means to be Christ-centered and what it means to live that out. One would think that because He's Jesus - we don't have to invite Him in ... afterall, He's God! In truth, His character is such that He allows us to choose relationship with Him, although He is always there regardless of whether we acknowledge him or not.

I am very thankful that I live in a country where I can freely speak about my faith without becoming the target for violent persecution (although it still does happen - sometimes in more subtle ways that can be just as hurtful). I'm thankful that my work these days is Christ-focused and that I have some wonderful friends to pray and grow with on our faith journey. It brings me much joy and hope to realize how God has always provided for my needs when I have sought Him wholeheartedly - something He promises to all of us.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Jeremiah 29:13

*****

Having Christ in the center makes all the difference. It's revolutionary, miraculously healing and simply wise. It doesn't mean that the desperate times don't come - life can get really hard and we are bound to make mistakes. It does mean, however, that because Christ is in the center, He's always near, ready and mighty to save, right at our point of need. It feels so good to write that, to say that, and know it first-hand to be true.

A very close relative of mine was just diagnosed with breast cancer. In fact, over the past month or so, I've learned of dozens of women with this type of cancer. It does seem to be, as one woman put it, epidemic. Hope is a word that is often associated with breast cancer ~ it's a good word to go with it. There is an excellent chance that the women I know who are struggling with this disease right now will survive and thrive for years to come. Medicine and technology and have come a long way in a short time.

Yet others won't thrive... and others still will not survive. Where is the hope in this?

Once our worldly existence, ambitions, dreams, goals and intentions are gone, where does "hope" find meaning?

My prayer is that it will be found in the promise of eternal life with Christ Jesus.

~Selah~

***********************

The "C" Word Means More Than Cancer...

Courage***Caring***Compassion

Communication***Choices***Challenge

Faithful

2008-12-05T00:51:00.012-05:00

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

******************************************************

Someone recently asked me how I manage to be "so faithful all the time?" I think I answered that if I am faithful, it is because I realize how faithful God has been to me, to people I know in this life and others I read about in the Bible. But faith is so much more than a simple act of reciprocation or sense of duty - although that is all part of it. More than anything else, I tend to respond to God's faithfulness out of a sense of awe and reverence, knowing how much I am loved - through His sacrifice, teaching, provision and Grace. It becomes all about how I can best express the gratitude and respect that I have for my Savior rather than what He can do for me - He's already done it all for me - for all of us. Faithfulness is ultimately an act of obedience and submission to a power larger than ourselves - not a popular concept or choice in this day and age. However, I have found that when I do choose to obey God, I am a happier person. It's a loving act of submission to His will for my life...and what a joy that brings ~ because He made me and knows my needs better than I know my own.

Freedom

2008-09-14T23:49:00.002-05:00

Today a fellow Christian said something in my face that I wasn't expecting, bless her heart. I imagine what she thought she was doing was giving me the truth. Interestingly, I had done the same to my mom just this morning. Trouble is, we can speak the truth all we like and even be correct at times or at least in part. But without Love, without genuine compassion and the Love of Christ, it's all meaningless, narcissistic garbage. That is the Truth. So thankful I realized my own arrogance and had a chance to reconcile with my mom later today. I love her dearly.

I read something the other day that described Christians like porcupines trying to huddle close together and they end up needling eachother. I've witnessed it happening more and more. Not sure why it's happening and I have to put myself in check to see if I'm doing it myself! So often we start to focus on another's shortcomings or problems and then either get wrapped up in it ourselves or start doing the very thing we are making a judgement against. How True.

I am venturing deeper into my own healing and inheritance of freedom by the blood of my Savior Christ Jesus. Part of me wants to run away. But I am running to God this time. He knows the Truth that is all that matters right now. I wish I had learned and lived that Truth years ago.

Thanks to another special friend who knew parts of this all along... God bless you, forgive you, heal you, give you peace and much love, my friend...

Amen

********************************************************************

No chain is strong enough
No choice is wrong enough
No mountain high enough that He can't climb
No shadow dark enough

No night is black enough
No road is lost enough that He can't find
And if the Son has set us free
Then we must be, free indeed

Let the chains fall away, starting today
Everything has changed I'm finally free
No pain is deep enough
No heart could bleed enough

Nothing but Jesus' love can make a way
And if the Son has set us free
Then we must be, free indeed
Let the chains fall away, starting today

Everything has changed I'm finally free~

(Finally Free, Nicole Nordeman)

Abundance

2008-06-24T00:21:00.004-05:00

Ephesians 3:16~ 20
16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

*************

So many things happen in a day - little moments - big moments - so many things that show me God is with me. I believe it is because in those moments I am somehow earnestly looking for Him, expecting His presence.

Deuterononmy 4:29 says "... if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul"... It is true in my experience. Not all of these moments in a day or a life are pleasant of course - but I am learning to count all of them as blessings and as a reassurance that I am - we all are - so very loved.

************************

What is love? In 1 Corinthians 13, it is taught that "... Love is patient and kind... not jealous or boastful or proud or rude... it does not demand its' own way... it's not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged... it does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out... Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance..." Yes, God loves us in every sense of the word - actively, relentlessly, passionately, tenderly, intimately and eternally.

Sometimes God tests us, challenges us and wants to stretch us beyond our comfort zone - this is also a demonstration of His love! I went to meet a friend recently at a local church to see a guest speaker from the U.K. It had been a couple of days - maybe even weeks - since I'd put any quality time aside in my "busy schedule" for prayer and focusing my attention on God and it was negatively affecting my attitude and the way I interacted with those around me. When I arrived at the church, there was no one there except for one woman in a wheelchair who had come to see the same guest speaker. We soon realized that the event was taking place in the building across the parking lot - about a 5 minute walk/wheel. I was feeling impatient and frustrated and just wanted to get to the other building but the woman in the wheelchair was insisting that she needed my help to steer her wheelchair across the parking lot to the other building (it was electronic and was equipped with a joystick). I realized that this is what God was asking me to do and I am quite certain that it was orchestrated for a purpose - namely, to test my response to the situation and to get me back in right relationship with Him! This very situation with this very woman was exactly what it took at that very moment to nudge me back into humility, into a mind of service, into joy and peace and love again.

*******************

As the woman and I made out way across the parking lot to the other building (she directing and encouraging, me steering her wheelchair), she became quiet and then said to me, "I really appreciate you taking the time to do this for me. I know you didn't feel like doing it at first but you did and it means alot. Thank you!" Her frankness suprised me a little - wow, she had sensed my initial impatience and resistance to helping her - I didn't realize it was that obvious. Thank God she noticed! And thank God that she didn't respond defensively but rather helped me to come back to Christ-mindedness. It was a divine appointment - one small moment of many in a day, a life, in eternity. By the time we got to the other building, we were laughing and joking around warmly like old friends.

2008-02-29T00:09:00.004-05:00

If we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us. ( 1 John 4:12 )

糸 (Thread)

2008-02-22T00:54:00.010-05:00

There is a song called 'Ito' (糸) by Nakajima Miyuki (中島　みゆき) that I learned while I was living in Japan. Some people said I sang it well, the way it was intended to be sung. If that is true, it might be because this song, these lyrics depict so clearly what I feel about my experience there, with many of the people I met. Some of them I am still in contact with; some of them not...

It was in Japan that I first heard about the idea of an invisible red thread that joins those who are destined to meet - that nothing - not time nor force nor circumstance - can separate that which is destined to be. It is likened to the more 'western' idea of 'soul mates' - or some would say, 'God's perfect plan'.

The song paints the picture of two pieces of thread, one vertical, one horizontal, being woven into a piece of fabric or cloth, one that is woven for a purpose, one that can heal hurts, one that can keep others warm and safe, heading in the direction of love and healing.

I have never known heartache and brokenness as I did when I was in Japan. Yet at the same time, I have never felt such love. There is a deep happiness in having met those I have been destined to meet ... and yet at times such a sadness beyond words...

I ultimately see Christ as the weaver of this tapestry, bringing us gradually closer to home through loving, compassionate relationship with Himself and others He brings into our lives for that purpose ... for this I will be forever grateful!

Here are the words to the song, both in Japanese and in English (translation attempted by yours truly):

なぜ　めぐり逢うのかを

私たちは何も知らない

いつめぐり逢うのかを

私たちはいつも知らない

どこにいたの生きてきたの

遠い空の下ふたつの物語

縦の糸はあなた

横の糸はわたし

織り成す糸はいつか誰かを

暖めうるかもしれない

なぜ生きていくのかを

悩んだ日の跡のささくれ

夢追いかけ走って

ころんだ日の跡のささくれ

こんな糸がなんになるの

心もとなくて震えてた雨の中

縦の糸はあなた

横の糸はわたし

織り成す糸はいつか誰かの

傷をかばうかもしれない

縦の糸はあなた

横の糸はわたし

逢うべき糸に出逢えることを

人は仕合わせと呼びます

**********

We can never know for certain why or when our paths will cross...

Where did you go?

Did you even exist?

Two tales under a distant sky...

You are one thread, I am the other,

Woven together, possibly to someday warm another's heart.

Why did you disappear?

The day I hesitated left a splinter.

Running after our dreams -

The day we followed them, it left a splinter.

What will become of this thread?

Hearts left trembling in the wind...

One thread is you, the other is me...

Our being woven together may protect someone from hurt.

One thread is you, the other is me...

When two threads that are destined to meet are joined,

We call that happiness.

Waiting on Him

2008-01-24T19:36:00.000-05:00

But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

ISAIAH 40:31

This evening as I was spending time in prayer and fellowship with God, a sweet blessing came to me at my point of need in the form of a love letter from a book by Sheri Rose Shepherd. Here's what it read:

Wait on Me, My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards. Love, Your King and LORD of perfect timings.

A Path in the Woods

2008-01-17T17:55:00.000-05:00

**************************************

"I am the way, the truth, and the life!" Jesus answered. "Without me, no one can go to the Father."

John 14:6

Why is it so hard to hang on to the truth sometimes? ~ A good question put forth to me by a fellow Christian today. Why don't we hang on more often to God's promises and claim their truth in the face of adversity, disappointment, boredom, uncertainty and attack? Why do we sometimes forget? Why is it that we tend to slack off, let things slip away?

I was thinking about this today ~ and I remembered John 8:32 ... "You will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free". (John 8:32) And yet, once that freedom is ours, we are once again free to choose, for good or bad, we are free to choose.

What an amazing thing, to be set free! Freedom from bondage and slavery of the world. Freedom from the compulsion to sin, knowing we have a choice and that Christ bears our burdens willingly, even today, right now in this moment for you and me... why would we ever jeopardize that privilege, that freedom by loosening our grip on the very thing that means our salvation, our very life?

Sounds crazy, right? And yet, we all do it. Way back in the garden of Eden, even Adam and Eve, as perfect and immersed in the Truth as they were, they were not immune to the tempter's lies. Each of us can choose to listen to and believe the lies of the one who would destroy us; or we can choose to stay close to God, seek Him with all of our hearts and cling to the Truth of His promises.

Sometimes it isn't easy to discern what is Truth and what is a lie. In that case, we're taught to seek the Word of God for wisdom and discernment. Everything we need is right there in the Bible - it's the survival ("Thrive") manual for a world gone terribly wrong. Unfortunately, it is often the case that people do not seek out that wisdom and receive the gifts and blessings it brings until it is almost too late. God is merciful and gracious. He would never give up on those He loves. And He wants to share that love with us for as long as possible, starting with our time on earth.

The above photo was taken on a hike at Thetis Lake in Victoria, B.C. My friend, her son and I were walking along the path, enjoying the beautiful day and some amazing quality fellowship time. We stopped at a place on the path where there was a gorgeous view over the lake from high up on a rock. As we were about to continue on the path, my friend pointed out to me that there was a rosary hanging from a branch of one of the arbutus trees. Christ was right there with us, reassuring us in this way that we are on the right path and that He is indeed the Way, the Truth and the Life! When I took the photo, the afternoon sunlight flashed through the trees in such a way as to leave only the cross portion of the rosary visible, as if it was suspended in space and time among the tangled, shedding trees and branches.

No matter how strong our Faith, we all need those times of reassurance from Him because we are all susceptible to falling away, straying from the Truth. If you are reading this, I encourage you to continue to seek the Truth! And when you find it, may the freedom that it gives you lead you ever closer in relationship with Christ Jesus. Thank you to those who have encouraged me and continue to encourage me and share His wisdom with me on this journey. God bless you!

天佑～ The Saving Grace of God

2007-11-20T01:29:00.000-05:00

"... I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands

for you are who you are, no matter where I am

And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand

You've never left my side~

And though my heart is torn,

I will praise you in this storm..."

(Praise You In the Storm, Casting Crowns)

*************************************

A dear friend of mine lost her husband to cancer this year. He was only 31 years old.

They had just celebrated the news of her pregnancy when he was diagnosed.

The pain is unbearable. She says at times it takes her breath away, it is that strong.

We never think these things will happen to us. I hate what she is going through - I want to be able to make her pain go away - but I can't! I want her to know that God is stronger than the pain that is threatening to shatter her being. When she is weak, He is strong - and He will not leave her side - His hand is there, reaching out, His arms open wide to comfort her. She knows this of course, but in her grief, she has temporarily forgotten it. Understandable, isn't it?

*********************************************

We serve a God who has the power to give and take away. It is the same God who created the moon and stars! We are not promised that we will be preserved from grief - but that we will be helped through it. AMEN!!

I have not lost a husband but I have known trouble and sorrow that defies comprehension. A sorrow and pain so deep that only God could understood completely and only God could begin to heal. He knows. He understands. There is a purpose but we just can't understand it when it is happening. Even this has a purpose, I am beginning to see that...

*********************************************

Sometimes it takes a long time to reach out our hand, to turn to His arms. But when we do, we find comfort - sweet, sweet, comfort like no other. And in turn, we learn to comfort others. It's all part of His promise. And God never breaks His promises.

This is all I know - only this truth. I don't know what to say to my friend. I just know that God loved her husband, he loves her and their son. I pray that she will remember that, in time...

*********************************************

I see now what a friend of mine was trying to tell me recently...we need to be able to move forward from the past. We are made for life, even after death. Sometimes there seems to be no apparent reason or motivation to move forward, not if our sight is fixed on things of this world. Everything besides God is temporary. So what are we living for if not for our future glory with God? Yes, what exactly ARE we living for? If it's anything temporary, it's not enough to carry us through the storms when they come. Christ knows that we cannot carry troubles on our own ... and that was never the intention.

*********************************************

I find it very interesting that part of my own testimony is so closely reflected in

2 Corinthians 1:8-11 ... the fourth letter from Paul to the church in Corinth during his third missionary journey...

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"... I think you ought to know, dear friends, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we learned not to rely on ourselves, but on God who can raise the dead. And He did deliver us from mortal danger. And we are confident that he will continue to deliver us. He will rescue us because you are helping by praying for us. As a result, many will give thanks to God because so many people's prayers for our safety have been answered..."

I have never told the whole story to anyone - but God knows. God knows every detail - and He cares.

Love is a choice

2007-11-16T12:14:00.001-05:00

1 Timothy 6:11
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

I heard last night about a married couple who vowed to write a love letter to eachother every day. No matter what they were going through, however they felt on a given day or how they thought about one another, the deal between them was to write a love letter to one another every day of their lives. Even on the days they were arguing, they would write - sometimes even just one sentence... 'I love you' or 'Forgive me' or 'I'm still here'... sometimes sending the letter by air mail instead of hand-delivering it. It made me realize even more than ever before how much love is a choice. Feelings will ebb and flow. Circumstances will inevitably change throughout life. But LOVE is meant to be something unchanging, constant... it is a choice. How many times has a parent chosen to love a child in spite of some 'unloveable' behavior... or how about forgiving a friend ~ or an enemy ~ for something hurtful they have done or said.... Ultimately, to choose love is to choose freedom, forgiveness and healing. Anyone can love when it simply 'feels good' and everything is going well. That's easy! But to love as Christ loved us - - while we were (and still are) imperfect and stubborn and self-serving in so many ways - - that is Amazing Grace! I've been challenged many times throughout the past couple of years to choose love over hate or fear or greed or envy or any number of temptations. Sometimes it doesn't seem possible or even desireable to do so, despite the pain that can result from carrying a wounded heart around and NOT loving.... but when it happens, it is so incredibly freeing and there is a deep knowing that it is the right thing to do. Putting aside our own agenda and choosing to love... recognizing that we are free to do so because He first loved us - what a privilege and honour! To live in that knowledge and trust is freedom, one that none can take away.

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A question came to me - what about those who are in abusive relationships? I've met women and heard of others who have chosen to stay in relationships for the sake of 'love'... the old 'stand by your man' routine, despite the obvious fact that the 'love' is not being reciprocated. This is not the kind of Love Jesus intended for us. Men and women - ALL PEOPLE for that matter - are created to honour and respect one another, not get into power struggles with or control by force, intimidation tactics, degredation, neglect or any other kind of manipulation. I have come close enough to that situation in my own life and it was NOT Love. Our God is also a God of justice, mercy, compassion and righteousness! I have seen people in such relationships and I am deeply concerned for them and I do pray for them. In that kind of situation, choosing to let go and let God's Love take over is what we are called to do. This includes choosing to Love ourselves as He Loves us. Amen!

2007-11-15T02:48:00.001-05:00

Romans 8:35-39

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Plans

2007-11-14T22:49:00.000-05:00

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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My heart feels burdened for the ones who suffer alone ~ the ones who do not yet know Christ as their Lord and Savior. Perhaps I am burdened because that is who I was only a short time ago! I remember when I was at one of my lowest points when I was living in Japan and at just the right time, as always, I was sent a message that told me that I was not alone. It was a friend of mine from church who sent it - but I can see now that it was God who orchestrated that timely message and God who placed that particular friend and countless others in my life for very specific reasons at specific times. I've thought about that message often since. Did part of me want to be alone? Yes, there were definitely times that I did and still do! But even if that was what I wanted, God knew better - and so began the greatest Love story there is...

I began to pray about everything, even when I didn't know what to pray, I prayed, sometimes with words, sometimes not. It didn't matter how or when or why - I was not alone. Christ was right there with me, at the heart of wherever I found myself. How do I know this to be true? Because I know that I am saved! Living with that knowledge now, I still struggle at times with trusting God and His ways. It takes alot of prayer, patience and humility to walk with God in His ways but it has always, every time, been the best way, at least in hindsight. :)

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I picture myself now walking along a wooded path. As I pause to look out over golden, shimmering pond, I am filled with a sense of awe and wonder. How is it that God has brought me to this place? A powerful wave of emotions surges through me and I tremble with fear, humility and honour at what I now realize is the awesomeness of our amazing God shining around me and enveloping me in His presence! In this realization, there is only love and with this love, anything is possible. How can it be, when at one point in time, all seemed lost. It is with this beautiful awareness that I take a deep breath and continue along the path. There are just as many questions...maybe even more! But there is one who can provide the perfect answers in His time.

It makes me smile - the other night I had a flat tire and had to call for roadside assistance. As the gentleman was fixing my tire, I noticed a sign on his truck that read: "SLOW DOWN - it helps us work" or something to that degree. Yes, there are certainly times when that is true. Taking a step back sometimes we notice things we haven't seen before - and I wouldn't want to miss what God wants me to see.

2007-10-30T00:28:00.000-05:00

On Sunday it was a true honor and blessing to have had the opportunity to hear a guest speaker talk at the church I've been attending. The guest's name was Kim Phuc. She's the little girl in the above photo who was running naked, bleeding and crying down the road after an air raid in her hometown of Trang Bang, Vietnam during the Vietnam War just a few short decades ago.... have you ever seen this photo before? That moment in history, being at the 'wrong place at the wrong time' as she put it, marked the beginning of an incredible journey for Kim, one of so much pain, loss, grief and ultimately, healing. Hearing her testimony was an amazing answer to prayer for me and probably many others who were there listening. One of the main messages in her talk was that forgiveness, true forgiveness, is impossible without God. As humans, we are simply not capable on our own of finding true forgiveness to the deep wounds within our hearts. With God, it is possible though ... anything is possible with God. Kim also wanted to share the message that Jesus is the one who saved her and brought her to restoration and peace. She had tried to find peace and a path to forgiveness in so many other religions and faiths and yet as she kept seeking, Christ kept appearing to her in her search and it was Him who was able to satisfy and heal her heart with His word. The physical scars that Kim suffered as a result of the bombs were extensive. She spent 14 months in the hospital, had multiple skin grafts and endured a long, painful rehabilitation process. But more than the physical scars were her emotional scars which, as she said "no other person could truly understand or help to heal". I know this pain. I have a friend who knows this pain. I have a neighbor with this pain - and a family member - and a colleague and a student...

The next time I am tempted to argue with a Pharisee, I will remember Kim's story - how God saved her, called her, healed her and rewarded her so graciously for trusting and obeying His promises and His word - and continues to do so today.

2007-10-30T00:04:00.000-05:00

'But whenever you were in distress and turned to the Lord... and sought Him out, you found Him'. (2 Chronicles 15:4)

2007-10-24T23:34:00.000-05:00

This was the gorgeous sky as I waited to catch the bus this morning. It really was breathtaking! It actually looked like an eagle or a giant angel spreading its' wings and soaring over the city! If you look at the edge of the cloud on the right hand side of the picture, you can see how the edge was sort of feathered, giving the impression of wings. Shortly after I took the photo, the sun burst through the opening in the middle of the cloud coverage and I just stood there basking in the warm, glowing light. I felt like God took away all of my fear in that moment and filled me with His deep mysterious peace once again. What a glorious way to start the day!

*****

Later, after work, I went running with a lady that I've met recently through a local Running Room store. It wasn't long after we'd met that we discovered that we are both Christian and it has become obvious through our conversations that God wanted us to meet. After our run, we talked about what was going on in our lives and we stood there outside by the Starbucks Coffee shop praying for eachother as people walked by and sipped their lattes and cappucinos on the other side of the glass window. I can't explain what a privelege that was! Our God is an AWESOME God! What a great way to end the day!

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Psalm 63

A psalm (poem or song) of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.

O God, you are my God;

I earnestly search for you.

My soul thirsts for you;

my whole body longs for you

in this parched and weary land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in your sanctuary

and gazed upon your power and glory.

Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself;

how I praise you!

I will honor you as long as I live,

lifting up my hands to you in prayer.

You satisfy me more than the richest of foods.

I will praise you with songs of joy.

I lie awake thinking of you,

meditating on you through the night.

I think how much you have helped me;

I sing for joy in the shadow of your protecting wings.

I follow close behind you;

your strong right hand holds me securely.

But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.

They will go down into the depths of the earth.

They will die by the sword

and become the food of jackals.

But the king will rejoice in God.

All who trust in Him will praise Him,

while liars will be silenced.

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Someone recently asked me about my spiritual journey...how it all came about. I told him the truth - that it came about from difficulty, hard times, struggles. And that was the beginning of the greatest romance of my life...

Sometimes I wonder now how I must sound speaking as I do about Christ. I never used to be filled with the Holy Spirit and I guess I had never surrendered to Christ's love. But when I did, (or rather, when I do - because it is still sometimes a struggle ), then it is the most amazing love, the most fascinating and enchanting relationship that one could ever hope for or imagine! It is the perfect love - the love that all other loves aspire to be! There is no better love than this, none more faithful, none more true, none more inspiring, gentle, steadfast or secure. I feel so filled with that love today and it leaves me longing for nothing except the desire to share that love with another.

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Deception & Truth

2007-10-21T00:18:00.000-05:00

So put away all falsehood and "tell your neighbor the truth" because we belong to eachother.

(Ephesians 4:25)

I would like to consider myself a person who does not lie. After all, I am accountable to God for everything I do and say and even think. I'm no longer in denial, believing that what I don't say out loud doesn't count because I know that God can read my heart - He knows me inside and out and all is the same to Him - so, best to tell the truth. Yet as much as I think I am honest with myself and others, there are times when I'm sure I have not told the complete truth - indeed, we can all deceive ourselves, for even when we rely on our own understanding of ourselves, we can me mistaken! Let's face it - all around us, lying is in style - so much so that it is often done without even knowing it! So often, the truth of the matter is not entirely told - there is often something still hidden. It's not exactly untrue, but rather there remains some part of the truth that has been left unsaid or undone - something that has left room for ambiguity or confusion. Where does this leave us in relationship? A lie is a lie and a half-truth is a lie. Although we might try to justify to ourselves in our own minds the temporary 'benefits' of not telling the whole truth, telling only a portion of the whole truth is just another way of lying and if there are people in our lives who choose not to tell the whole truth, can we really trust those people? At what point do lies become truth? To that end, at what point does a centipede become an orange blossom?!

Jesus tells us, "I am the way, the truth and the life". (John 14:6) When I look to His example, the way that He lived his life here on earth, how he died for all of us (not just for Christians), I see the futility of trying to cover the truth in any way, shape or form. "Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed". (Proverbs 12:19) So, I know, that if I have lied, the truth will reveal it eventually. Thank you, LORD, for helping me to see the futility of half-truths and deception in my life and in the lives of those around me! How refreshing to live in honesty. I know that lying only leads to webs of confusion, doubt and ruin. May Christ shine His everlasting light on all of us and give us freedom and discernment to live in His ways. After all, it is He who knows which ways are best for us. I pray that we can all let Him lead us where He wants us to go!

2007-10-05T00:05:00.000-05:00

Psalm 28: 7

The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will

give thanks to Him in song.

A very interesting week...one deserving of much praise! I've been blessed with great students who are really keen on studying English and from so many different parts of the world. Just the fact that we are all there together makes me smile. I'm blessed with friends who I can pick up the phone and call and it's like no time has passed at all since the last time we spoke. I am grateful for the love and grace that God fills me with each day to keep striving and learning and breathing it all in, taking things in stride, despite the obstacles. I am thankful for the gift of music and song, praising God with my voice in choir tonight was amazing. The only way that I can think of right now to describe the feeling is "a pure, glowing flow of love and light". Exuberance! I am also thankful for the severing of ties where necessary and overdue and for the crossing of paths between new friends and old friends who have something to teach us or something to remind us of. I am immensely thankful for health and the way that the LORD has healed me of some bad habits. I'm not who I was a year ago. I'm still "under construction" - but at least I know now that with Christ as my cornerstone and foundation, there is only good to follow. Amen.

Sacred

2007-09-30T23:39:00.000-05:00

At the end of the day, what is sacred?

What can we really call sacred, except for the Holy Spirit that we ask to enter and fill us, transform us, heal us and cleanse us of our worldliness?

I'd like to think that relationship among friends is sacred.

I'd like to believe that love is sacred and that a pure form of it still does exist in today's world.

I'd dare to dream that the gift of life is sacred, despite facts all around us that point to the contrary.

What can we call sacred?

A moment of silence?

A smile between stangers?

An answered question?

Or, perhaps an unanswered one?

Sacred is two confused letters away from scared.

No wonder we get the two mixed up so often.

May the Holy Spirit and the love of the LORD Jesus find a sacred dwelling place in all of us.

Peace

2007-08-25T00:17:00.000-05:00

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

(Isaiah 26:3)

It's such a JOY and honour to be able to say that so many times now, the above message has proven true for me. Having been through times and in places where, spiritually and relationally, thoughts have become fixed on anything but the LORD and His purpose in my life, I realize now what a blessing it truly is to be able to live a truth in God's Word. Admittedly, there have even been times when perfect peace was not something I would have necessarily strived for or considered desireable. Somehow, it seemed boring - not dramatic enough perhaps. Maybe my image of peace did not include enjoying life to its' fullest. Somehow, peace used to be a little bit scary - - Why? Maybe the same reason some people can't stand silence. With perfect peace, there is a lack of inner conflict - a still, quiet confidence that is not rooted in one's own understanding. Something has to be surrendered, relinquished, so that the ego space can be filled with peace. I've realized also that spiritual people cannot be a substitute for God. As much as we need to respect and learn from our spiritual leaders, time alone, one on one with God, is still crutial if we are to have a personal relationship with Christ. Like the speaker at church said today, the church is not perfect, its' leaders are not perfect, none of us are perfect - only God is perfect. And that is why, only when we put our trust in Him and our thoughts are fixed on Him, can we experience His perfect peace, which, incidentally, feels alot like Love.

Bloom

2007-07-23T01:58:00.000-05:00

Prairie Crocus

(Provincial flower of Manitoba)

"Bloom where you're planted"... this phrase has poked its' head out at me several times since I have been back to Manitoba from Japan in September, 2006. Again I came across the same phrase yesterday when I was looking through a friend's photos. There was a picture of a flower growing up alongside a concrete wall, out of a crack in the road. I like the message that this phrase carries ~ be content with what you have been given; make the most of your Gifts, talents, abilities, tend to your environment and flourish there, wherever the 'there' is that you may find yourself in at the moment ... be at peace with who and where you are.

Sometimes this isn't an easy message to accept. Do you ever find yourself wanting to be anywhere but where you are? Do you ever find yourself wishing for more (or less) of something or someone, including yourself? Do you ever wonder if you're growing or if you've been planted at all? I'm sure we all do from time to time ...

For some people, including me, the "where you are planted" is more than one place. Blooming implies having some roots, some kind of attachment to the foundation, some kind of source that keeps you fed and alive and growing, opening up to new life and giving of one's unique self ...

Blooming requires an awareness of the season ... and God's grace and wisdom to let it shape us into what we are intended to be ...

"...Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from Him, so you wil grow in faith ..." (Colossians 2:7)

Fruits of the Spirit

2007-07-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

~ LOVE ~ JOY ~ PEACE ~ PATIENCE ~ KINDNESS ~ GOODNESS

~ FAITHFULNESS ~ GENTLENESS ~ SELF-CONTROL ~

(Galatians 5: 22~23)

Choosing the Path

2007-07-22T15:21:00.000-05:00

Flax

"... I will lead you along the best pathway for your life..."

(Psalm 32:8)

When I look back on the journey that has led me to now, I can honestly say that it is clearly the CHOICE to believe in and follow Christ that has resulted in anything truly good in my life. It makes me wonder how much of my life has been truly good? To be sure, I have not always made the choice to follow Him ... and the result has always been fleeting moments of pleasure at best or seasons of utter chaos, confusion and heartache at worst. This is not to say that living and walking with the LORD is a 24/7 pleasure cruise immune to bumps and storms ... but that is not what His Word promises, either. What He promises is that He will lead us along the BEST pathway for our lives ... and I am amazed when I realize that it is a very PERSONAL BEST that He is talking about. "Best" here refers to what is best for me as Tracey - for you as you - for each of us as individuals. He knows what is best for us, even when we don't! But God's wisdom and Love is even greater! How many times have I thought that I am doing something that is 'best' for me or someone else only to find that my idea or understanding of 'best' is not what God had in mind. Thank God, I am sometimes mistaken and I can turn to Him for guidance and forgiveness. AMEN!

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Faith

2007-06-11T23:30:00.000-05:00

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
(Philippians 4:13)

The Hummingbird can fly in ways that no other creature or man-made machine can. It can fly forwards, backwards - even upside down! Does a Hummingbird ever doubt for a second that it can do these things? Does it even for a minute try to do anything other than what God intended it to do? As a human being, as highly developed as we may be as a species, it sometimes seems impossible that we could have a faith like that!

We possess free will, which implies the choice to obey (God's Word) - or not to obey. We tend to disobey - that is, we tend to think the 'grass is greener on the other side' or that we are right in our own limited understanding. We tend to think that 'obedience' will mean falling short of our potential - that somehow, obedience robs us of our freedom and individuality. I've realized that nothing could be further from the truth! And yet - - - even when we are obedient, that is not the real measure of our faithfulness. Real faith is simply believing Him and acting on that faith, knowing Christ will strengthen and provide for our needs in His due time.
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"...When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that come from God. Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we could ever dare to ask or hope. May He be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen"

Ephesians 3: 14~21

eulogeo

C'mon - let's go!

Romance

Sanctity

改善 (kaizen)

Time

No Doubt

Reflection

TATOO

The Point of Marriage

Hope

Faithful

Freedom

Abundance

糸 (Thread)

Waiting on Him

A Path in the Woods

天佑 ～ The Saving Grace of God

Love is a choice

Plans

Deception & Truth

Sacred

Peace

Bloom

Fruits of the Spirit

Choosing the Path

Faith

改善　(kaizen)

天佑～ The Saving Grace of God